


Summer, Beach and You

by kuma166



Series: Four Season of Love [3]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, BaeRi, M/M, Summer Fling, implied TopRi, sundae, suntory - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-13 15:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11187672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuma166/pseuds/kuma166
Summary: What would Youngbae do when he saw his loved one betraying him in front of his eyes? Forgive his lover and just accept it, betray him back or leave him just like that? It's not an easy choice if Youngbae's heart has broken already.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think there isn't much to change in this story :) but please enjoy this as well as the previous works :3

The first I stepped at the bungalow, the grain of sands were still on my feet. I shook my feet to get rid of them before entering the bungalow. The weather was hotter than I had thought before and my skin had become tanned quickly. Thank God it didn’t burn. I took off my shades and cap, putting them on the table as I walked to the kitchen. The wooden floor creaked as I walked. On the kitchen bar, the little red light on the telephone was blinking – which meant voicemail. Who would have known that I was living in—oh.

Him.

Who else? He was the one who reserved the bungalow for me. Of course he knew I was here. Two voice mails, the screen displayed. I pressed a button on the phone.

 

**_Hey my Baby-Bae, how is your holiday? I bet it is fun staying there, right? Bali is just wonderful, isn’t it? I remember that I went there with Joonyoung and it was incredible! You should go to the club also, that one near Kuta, but I forgot the name. I will text you the name of the club and please, party hard. You know… I miss you already but I can’t see you. How about we meet in Singapore? I have a meeting there…_ **

 

Beep.

 

I pressed the end button on the phone without listening till the end, and I ignored the second voice mail. Keep the bullshit for yourself _,_ I snickered _._  I stared at the yellow icon at the corner of my smartphone screen. Another messages.

 I touched the icon and read the sender’s name. It was the same person with the one who sent me voice mail.

 

**_Baby-Bae~ xoxoxo_ **

**_Baby-Bae, you’re so busy enjoying the beach, huh? I just want to hear your voice~_ **

**_Can’t you send me a voicemail or a video of you at beach?_ **

**_Baby-Bae_ **

**_Baby-Bae_ **

**_Baby-Bae_ **

**_Baby-Bae_ **

**_Baby-Bae love you so much I could die. Can’t wait to see you in Singapore!_ **

**_I booked it for you Bali-Singapore and we could fly to Busan after that. Together!_ **

 

After the last text, I found that he sent me a video. He started the video with a pouting mouth, as if he wanted to kiss me. Then he walked farther away from the camera and waved to me.

 

**_“Baby-Bae! Here I was eating the kimchi jjigae you made for me and I’ve been exercising! You’re right, my abs is disappearing while yours is still the same as before. Just wait, if we meet again, you could feel the hard abs of mine and… You know, the other hard thing… If you know what I mean.”_ **

 

He smirked coyly while wriggling his eyebrows. Then it ended. The video froze at the sight of him pouting his lips. The lips that I knew by heart –the softness, the redness, the moistness, the thickness, every inch of it. I touched the frozen video right at the pouting lips, but the video was replayed instead. This time, I didn’t care what he was saying. Rather, I focused on how his lips were moving.

His lips still made my heart skip a beat, but then my heart squeezing and thousands thorns pricking it. I held my phone, hoping that the pain in my chest would slowly fade away every time I tightened my grip. But it didn’t work, the pain became stronger and stronger, and soon I couldn’t breathe. My knees couldn’t hold my weight anymore and as I collapsed to the ground, my tears running down my cheeks.

I cried a river that evening.

No matter how often he said he loved me, I couldn’t believe him anymore. My heart was broken and nothing in this world could make it the same as before. I covered my face for a while, trying to stop the tears, but it didn’t work. Instead, the tears were streaming down my cheeks. When I wiped the tears with my fingers, I felt a friction against my skin. I saw my hand and realized that something shiny was still on my finger, reflecting the light.

A diamond ring _._

The symbol of our love.

A love that I doubted if it was still there in our heart.

***

 

 

It was Friday night in summer and he casually picked me up after work. I was stoned when I found him standing in front of the building and holding a bouquet of red roses.

While slowly approaching him, I rubbed my eyes. I just couldn’t believe he had come and brought　my favorite flower – a  _bouquet_  of that. It was usually me who brings him bouquets of flowers, which later withered in the vase at our home without him keeping it. When he saw that I was nearing him, he waved his hands eagerly, making the petals fell down. I chuckled, but then realized that I shouldn’t chuckle.

I was supposed to be mad at him, considering what he had done to me. Some scenarios were in my mind, where I became the antagonist one. Maybe I could take the bouquet then put it to the nearest trash bin. 

‘No, it had to be more cruel, Bae. Maybe you could snatch the bouquet, throw it on the ground, and step on it, then leave him without looking back,’ a devil whispered into my head.

But then his hug and the soft peck on my cheek blew the scenarios in my mind. He fixed the hem of my suit and gave me the bouquet while smiling at me.

“You must be tired, Baby-Bae. Let me take your bag,” he snatched the bag from me. I just complied with his act. Why was him so good to me if it was just a lie?

He then put his hand around my hip, led me to walk to the nearest bus station. I stared at the man beside me. He was slightly taller than me and dyed his hair platinum blonde. A smile always plastered on his face, without fail. Was that just a façade to cover all his lies to me?

“Don’t stare at me like that, Baby-Bae. I may die if you keep staring with those sharp eyes.” He said without looking at me.

I turned my head, focusing my mind again to the pedestrian walk. Realizing that I had a bouquet in my hands, I brought it on my nose and inhaled the refreshing scent.

“You like the red rose, Baby-Bae?” he was observing my face, eyes glistening in a playful mood while he smirked at me.

“You had already known the fact that I like roses,” a stiff voice came out from my mouth.

He smiled weakly. “You know, Bae, I don’t like your tone when you talked to me. I don’t know why, but you seemed far apart to me lately. Did I do something wrong?”

 “No you didn’t,” I immediately answered without sparing any second to think. But my mind screamed, ‘Oh yes you did something terribly wrong, Ri.’

He suddenly stopped and grabbed my arm. “Talk to me, Baby. I hate this feeling.”

“We don’t have anything to talk, Ri Sweetheart,” I forced a smile, my best eye smile, to him.

He looked at my eyes deeply, and then sighed. I took that as a sign that he didn’t find what he wanted to know. “Alright then Baby-Bae. Do you want to eat dinner outside or shall we cook something in our apartment?”

“Cooking is alright with me.”

“I will help you then,” he jumped like a child while holding my arm.

I tried to lift up the mood by ruffling his blonde hair.  _Please heart, brain, comply with me. Let me ignore the uneasy feeling because I don’t want this sacred relationship to end. Not after we promised in front of God to be together through thick and thin,_ I tried to chant a mantra to ease my own heart.

“Just stay at the back of kitchen counter and give me your best smile, okay? Last time you tried to help me you nearly burnt the kitchen.”

“But Baby-Bae…” he squeezed my arm and pouted at me.

“Be a good boy, or else,” I said to him with a stiff face as if I was his teacher.

“Yes, Sir! I understand!” He said. I laughed at his expression and then the contagious laughter infected him. We laughed together as if nothing wrong with us.

“We need to go to the supermarket. What do you want to eat, Jagiya?”

He froze when I called him ‘ _Jagiya’_. I smirked in my head, knowing that it spiked something in his brain. An awkward smile appeared in his face. I bet he tried so hard not to do something strange in front of me. “I want to eat kimchi jjigae.” He finally said.

“Kimchi jjigae? Don’t you have something  _grand_ to eat?”

He shook his head. “I love your kimchi jjigae.”

“How about we eat some chicken steak and mashed potato?”

“French fries it is.”

“Mashed potato. It’s healthier than those greasy potato, Ri!”

“But it’s delicious!”

“Mashed potato. I want to see you live for a hundred years, Riri sweetie.”

“Ugh!” He snickered. “You health freak! I sometimes wonder why I bother keeping up with you pushing your opinion on me.” He then pulled me into a hug. “But I love you.”

I felt like something tug at my heart upon hearing those sacred three words. Those words which were supposed to make me happy when I heard them, but I didn’t feel happy at all.

Because I knew that you didn’t love me anymore.

You didn’t love me as much as you used to.

My hands curled into fists and my right hand was pricked by thousand needles. It hurt but it’s nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I struggled to hide the mixed emotion in my head. “Yeah. I know you love me,” was the final words came out from my mouth.

“Do you love me too?” The tone of his voice was weak, as if he pleaded me to answer his question.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know, Baby-Bae. You tell me.”

I smiled. “Maybe.”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe I love you.” I walked away, leaving him behind.

***

 

 

After I cried my heart out, I washed myself. It was nearing dinner time and I didn’t want to cook something although I already bought groceries. I dried my hair and took a glance to the clock on the wall. 6 p.m plus one hours of time difference between here and Korea, so it’s 7p.m there.

‘What did we usually do at this time, Riri? Cuddling? Watching movie?’ I asked to myself.

What were you doing when you left me alone in our apartment at this time?

Or.

What are you doing now without me? Meeting  _that_  Choi Seunghyun?

 

I threw the damp towel on the floor harshly. The rage suddenly stormed on. ‘ _What was wrong with us, with our marriage, Ri? What’s wrong with me?’_ I sighed heavily. I loved him with all my heart and all he did was hurt me.

Then I heard a song from my phone. It was a song I set only for him. His face was on the screen, but I decided to slide the blinking red icon.

_Rejected._

The phone vibrated for some times. He must have sent me a lot of messages. I scrolled down the notification and read it from the preview screen.

 

**_Baby-Bae? Why did you reject my call?_ **

**_I just want to know how you are..._ **

**_You didn’t reply to my text at all._ **

**_How’s Singapore? Should I book it for us or you just want to go back home?_ **

**_Bae, please let me know that you’re alright there._ **

**_I am worried about you, you shouldn’t ignore your husband like this, Baby-Bae. It hurts._ **

 

 _I_ _t hurts you said? How about you having an affair for almost one year when our marriage life is only on its third year?_   _It didn’t hurt me?_

 

The same song rang again. I did the same, rejected his call.

 

**_Baby-Bae. What’s wrong?_ **

 

I wrote a reply for him.

 

**_Leave me alone, just for this once. I need to clear my head._ **

 

Then I threw the phone to the bed because I didn’t want him to call me again and again.

 

I went out from the bungalow to eat dinner at a restaurant. It was not far away from my bungalow. The restaurant was designed for people who stayed at the bungalows and located at the very left of the complex, near the sea. It had the best view to see sunrise or sunset. I brought my flip-flops with me without putting them on –I wanted to feel the sands.

I snickered.

Beach is one of our favorite places to spend our holiday.  _No,_ it used to be  _his_ favorite place, until he dragged me to every beach he was familiar with, and then it became my favorite place, too. He said that Indonesia has the best beaches he had ever seen and he couldn’t wait to go with me to explore the beaches.

But then there I was, alone.

We had never gone to Indonesia together; the farthest beach we explored was in Okinawa and we didn’t enjoy the trip at all. It was crowded with people who were spending their holiday and not as romantic as we thought it would be. We ended up fighting, even on the way back home. The fight was so big that I even wavered and wondered if we loved each other or not. We did forgive each other but I thought it was only on the surface. We lied to each other, we lied to ourselves, pretending that we were okay but in fact, we were not.

I tried my best to make things between us right –I still made breakfast and dinner for him, massaging when he said he was tired, and still gave my body to him even though I didn’t feel his presence in our bed. Every time we fucked each other, I could see that he was thinking of someone else.

Damn right he was.

 

 

It didn’t take a long time until I arrived at the restaurant and the waitress greeted me. She led me to the outdoor table, so I could enjoy the view of the sea at night. Dim lamps decorated the outdoor space and I sat and enjoying the blinking lights. The waitress asked for my order. I wasn’t that hungry, so I ordered an apple pie and mango smoothies. She wrote my order and then left me alone.

I observed my surrounding. It was not that crowded. Maybe I was too early to get my dinner. There was someone else too. He sat two tables away from me and looked far away to the sea, as if he was hoping that someone would come from it.

He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, kind of showing off his tanned arms. Thanks to the dim light, I only could guess that he had slightly permed brown hair. Where did he come from?Ah, it must be nice to have someone to hook up to when I was in here. Maybe having a one night stand or even summer love before I went back to reality. I looked at the ring in my finger and played with it. Maybe I could take it off, just for this time.

I inhaled the refreshing-and-salty air.

It suffocated me.


	2. Chapter 2

After dinner, I decided to sit by the shore, enjoying the sound of the wave and the loneliness. Under the moonlight, I stared at my fingers. I thought I would feel somewhat guilty when I took off the ring, but then I didn’t feel anything. The skin that was under the ring was lighter, the effect of never taking it off for years after he gave me the ring.

Again and again, the mere thinking of him having an affair gave a pang to my heart.

Damn you, Lee Seunghyun.

I stared at the moon, slightly lowered my back while my hands were pushing the sands surrounding me. I felt betrayed, Lee Seunghyun. I was sick and I have been hurt, but I didn’t know where exactly the pain was.

 

 

 

 

 

But… I felt pain in my –fingers?

I looked at my right hand and saw two crabs clamped their claws to my fingers.

“Yaaaa ishhhh-sshiiiiiii!!!!” I shouted and frantically moved my hand, hoping that they would loosen their claws. Crap! It seemed that I was pushing into the crab hole all that time!

“Yaaaa!!!” I kept moving my hand and tried to pull them off, but my hand were bleeding.  _Shit!_  Someone then tapped my shoulder. I jerked at the touch but then the person immediately helped me with the crabs. By looking at the sleeveless shirt he wore, I realized that it was the same man I saw at the restaurant. He freed me from the crabs and then threw them to the sea. Seeing my bleeding hand, he took off his shirt and then bind it into my hand. The chocolate abs was up for the viewing pleasure and I felt warmth on my cheeks. It was a perfect six-pack and I swallowed back my saliva.

“Are you okay?” He said in English.

“Ah,  _jeo-n gwaenchanhseumnida_.” I realized that I answered him in Korean out of surprised. “Ah, I mean, I’m okay.”

“I know. I’m Korean too.” He smiled at me and began talking in Korean. “If you don’t mind, let me take you to my bungalow and then I will give you a proper bandage. It’s there.” He pointed to the direction where his bungalow was.

“Ah…” My mouth was open but I didn’t know what to say.

He grabbed my arm wrist and then slightly pulled me. “Let’s go before it could lead to an infection. Don’t worry, I don’t bite like the crabs.” He giggled.

I saw my hand helplessly. I was still in shock, but then followed him to his place. “Alright.”

Along the way to his bungalow, he kept holding my bleeding hand carefully, as if it would break if he didn’t hold my hand. I could feel the burn on my cheeks. Besides Seungri, there’s no other man who had ever did intimate act like this. I wanted to brush his hand off, but then I enjoyed the embarrassing feeling. It felt like when Seungri laced his fingers into mine for the very first time.

“Please wait here, I will bring the first aid.” He let me sit at the chair in front of his bungalow and I obeyed him. His bungalow was five bungalows away from mine and his had a nicer sea view than mine. The moon shone bright and gave me a sight of the night sea view. I even could see some boats were floating. It’s like a painting. And if I stayed quiet, I could hear the sound of the waves.

“Here I am!” His voice snapped me back into reality. I looked at him. He beamed a eye-smile and placed a small white bag with a red cross on the table, then dragged a chair so he could sit in front of me. He took out a small stainless steel box, two small towels, and saline water. Quite a bag, I supposed and somehow I was frightened but also curious at what he had.

He opened the temporary bandage, brushed off some sands with the towel, and then poured the saline water to my still bleeding hand. I slightly pulled my hand and bit my lip because it stung.

“Sorry. It stung, didn’t it? Don’t worry, I will treat it well.” After that he dried the wound with another towel and I could see a stain of blood there. Then he opened the stainless steel box. My eyes became big when I saw what was inside. I didn’t know what it was called but I saw it on medical drama: something like scissors, tweezers, syringe, bandage, and other things. The voice in my head started to question the identity of the man in front of me.

He put some alcohol on the cotton ball and then dabbed it on my wound. I observed him and just realized that he was on his beach short and topless. I stared blankly at his shoulders –they’re built very well– and his thick thigh -I bet he had strong lower body, unlike Seungri. His hair color became more obvious; it’s a copper color, as if he’s been under the sun for a long time. Sexy and hot _._ I mentally shook my head. ‘ _Are you crazy, Youngbae?’_ The voice in my head was mad at me.

“Tada! It finished!” I was taken aback into reality after hearing the loud voice. “You’ll be good in no time!” He said and kissed my hand.

I was shocked, so was he. There was a pregnant pause between us and we just looked at each other wordlessly.

“Oh my! Oh no! Sorry I don’t mean to—” He then raised his hands as if he surrendered. “Sorry, it’s a habit. I am so sorry.” I could see he was confused too. He didn’t know where to look and he also didn’t know what to do with my hand. I just laughed at him.

“What kind of job that made you develop a habit of kissing someone’s hand? Playboy?” I chuckled when I saw his ears reddened.

“Nice guess, but no. I’m a pediatrician. The kids believe that kiss will soothe the pain and the wound will be quickly get better than the un-kissed wound. So, yeah…” He ruffled his hair and shrugged his shoulder.

I nodded and then stared at the bandage. “Thank you so much for helping me tonight.”

“It’s not free.” He smiled coyly.

“Really, Mr. Doctor?” I rolled my eyes.

“Hahahahahaha! Of course it’s free. Just don’t forget to change it after you showered. The wound is not that bad but it’s deep. It will take time to heal, actually.”

“Oh, okay.” I stared at my hand again, and then looked at him who was standing in front of me. His abs was at the same level at my eyes and I couldn’t help but staring at his happy trail. ‘ _Get yourself together, Youngbae!’_  the back-voice shouted at me again. I craned my head and he was looking back at me.

Slightly tilting his head, he said, “So?”

I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want this meeting ended just like this. I wanted to meet new person and I thought he was the ‘new person’. I wanted to meet him again. If I went back to my bungalow just like that, I didn’t have any reason to see him again. I forced my head to think something that would end up nice. The reason so we could meet again.

“But—“ I looked at the winding bandage. “I can’t do it like this. Can’t I just put a simple bandage and be cool with it?” ‘ _Dammit. Couldn’t you think any other reason? He must know that it’s a lie!’_ I slapped my head mentally after slipping out the lame reason.

“Well, you must cover it from the sand and a simple bandage can’t do that.”

“So?” I looked at him with my puppy eyes, hoping that he got the signal from me that I wanted to meet him again and let some lame reason to be the motive to meet him again.

He smirked, as if he got my intention. “Or I could help you.”

I screamed happily in my mind. “Okay. I guess I have to meet you regularly because I need to change the bandage.”

“Well. I am happy if I could help you.” He paused for a while. “May I know your name?”

 _Oh, right._  “My name is Taeyang,” I said after a consideration.

His eyebrows were knitted. “Taeyang? Sun?”

“Yeah.” I nodded to hide the hammering heart because the lie I just said. Well, I didn’t lie, technically, because Taeyang used to be my stage name.“And you?”

“Daniel Kang. Just call me Daniel.” He smiled widely.

“Nice to meet you.” I reached out my wounded hand. He enveloped mine with his hands and shook it lightly.

“Nice to meet you too.”


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was peeking at the horizon, but I had woken up since two hours ago. I decided to run along the shore and enjoying the sunrise. The fishermen were coming back from the sea. Some of them smiled and nodded at me. I nodded and smiled back. What a nice sight to start the day _,_ I thought _._  I ran until the end of the bungalow complex –the restaurant. Then I remembered that I still had bandage on my hand.

I stared at the bungalow not far from the restaurant -it was Daniel’s. I chuckled at the thought of lying to him. Of course I could change the bandage myself, I wasn’t that dumb. However, he was just so charming that I was intrigued to get to know him more. His caramel and glistening skin made me couldn’t put my insomnia to sleep. Also his abs; it’s haunting me.

I shook my heads. ‘ _Why did you act like this, Youngbae?_ ’ my head started to get angry with me again.

I walked towards his bungalow.  _It’s impossible that he’s woken up at this early morning, right?_ I asked myself. I put the towel around my head in case he caught me walking to his bungalow. Why should I feel like I was a thief? Suddenly, the door was opened. Damn! My heart skipped a beat. I was about to run away from his bungalow, until I heard.

“Hey! Taeyang-ssi!”

I froze in my place.

“Taeyang-ssi! Good morning!” I heard another greet again.

I turned to face him and gave him an awkward smile. “Good morning, Daniel-ssi.”

“You woke up early!”

“So did you. How did you know it was me?”

“Your hand, of course,” he pointed at my bandaged hand. “How do you feel? Did you catch a fever?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks to you. The first aid helped me so much.”

“Did you came here to change your bandage?”

 _‘Ehmmm… No, actually. I just want to meet you_ ’ was the sentence that I wanted to say, but instead I said, “Actually yes. But then I haven’t showered yet. I guess it’s better to bath first and then change the bandage.”

“Well, you can come back again.” He smiled brightly.

“I guess so.” I nodded. I saw his damp hair.  _He’d showered already, huh?_ I commented mentally. I tried to smell his scent, but all I had was the smell of the sea and mine.  _Ugh!_  He wore the sleeveless shirt again.Why did you have to torture me by hiding that perfect abs I saw last night?

“Do you have plan for breakfast?” His voice took me back into reality. I saw he put his hands in the pockets of his shorts.

“Uhmm… I don’t think so. Why?”

“I was about to buy some fish and oysters from the local fisherman and make some seafood soup. I wonder if you would join me to eat breakfast.”

I had to press the urge of jumping here and there upon hearing the invitation. “Oh, I would love to. It’s been a while since the last time someone making me a breakfast.”

“Nice! You could take a bath first while I am going to buy the ingredients.”

“Is there something I could help?”

“Well, it’s better to have more hands in the kitchen since I’ll cook not only for myself.”

“I have some vegetables in my refrigerator. I will be back here in… Forty five minutes?”

He nodded. “It’s settled then. See you forty five minutes later!” Then he waved his hands and walked away.

I giggled.

I guessed this was the excitement of having an affair, huh?

***

 

After I showered, I went back to Daniel’s bungalow. But then he hadn’t come back, so I had to wait. Before long, I saw Daniel came from afar while chatting to someone. From the looks, the other man must be a local and might be the fisherman he bought the fish and oysters from. Daniel brought quite a big plastic bag with him. I saw he shook hands with the man and the man waved his hands to Daniel. He walked to the bungalow and then realized that I’ve been there. He ran while searching for his key.

“Sorry Taeyang-ssi. I was carried away when choosing the fish. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t, actually. It’s not been a long time. I just arrived maybe five minutes ago?”

“Well, then.” He opened the door and let me in. “Welcome to my bungalow. Ah, it’s the same with yours anyway. Please. Let me change the shirt first and then I will take care of your hand. Or if you want, you could go to the kitchen first.”

I was surprised.  _Ah, yeah. My hand._  “Ah okay.” I brought my bag and his bag to the kitchen and began to take out the ingredients. I put the fresh fish and oysters on the sink and I sat on the chair. I sighed. It’s usually me who cooked for Seungri.

He did sent me some texts and I just ignored those texts again. I took out my phone.

**_Baby-Bae. Should I go to Bali right now?_ **

**_What should I do to make things right?_ **

 

I scoffed and finally wrote a reply for him.

 

**_Don’t come to here. I’ll be back on Sunday. Satisfied?_ **

 

I put my phone back to my pocket. Daniel came to the kitchen and brought the same items when he took care of my hand. He sat in front of me and opened the bandage.

“Does it still hurt?”

I shook my head.

“Okay.” He proceeded to clean the wound, put some things on the wound, binding my hand again, and then smiled when it finished.

Naughty thought came to my mind. “So, you didn’t kiss the wound again?” I smirked.

His eyes got bigger upon hearing my sentences, but then he huffed a laugh. “Skies, Taeyang-ssi!”

“Maybe the wound will heal faster than before?”

“You believed that?”

I laughed with him. _A bitter laugh._ I kind of hoping that he would kiss the wound again, actually. Then he stood up and put his medical bag away. He started to prepare the ingredients. I was about to help him cooking, but then he just let me cook the rice, which was the easiest thing to do. I sat behind the counter and watching him cooking. He moved gracefully, as if he was dancing. Sometimes I would say a thing like ‘You’re really good with knives’ and ‘That smells good’. I forgot when was the last time I enjoyed to watch someone cooking

Sometimes, he would take some tissues and wiped his sweat. The apron seemed too small and too cute for a built-man like him. I looked at how his muscles were moving. I bet it’s a sturdy one to hold while in bed. I mentally slapped myself at the nasty thought.

“Taeyang-ssi?”

“A-ah? Yeah?”

“You’re drooling.”

I hurriedly wiped my mouth with my hands, just to find nothing wet. Then I heard a loud laughter.  _Shit._

“BAHAHAHAHHAHA!! God you’re so funny!”

I bit my lip out of embarrassment. Where could I find a hole to hide?

“Your mouth was opened all the time, Taeyang-ssi. Are you that hungry?”

“I’m starving. I want to eat something.” _I wanted to eat you, you know, Daniel-ssi,_ was the initial response of mine.

“The rice is cooked. Would you help me to prepare the table? The bowl and chopsticks are in the cabinet.”

I stood up and went to the direction he pointed at. I scooped the rice to the bowls and brought it to the table while he brought the boiling seafood soup and fried vegetables. The smell was delicious and my stomach grumbled when I saw the foods.

“Bon appetite,” I said. I sipped the seafood soup and it was very delicious I immediately sipped another. “Daniel-ssi. You’re a good cook! It’s really delicious. I love it already!” I earnestly compliment while savoring the spice he used for the soup.

“Glad you like it.” He smiled brightly.

We ate the food mostly in silence. I was too immersed at the food and I was eating it like I’d been in starvation for months. After eating, he even didn’t let me wash the dishes. He asked me to wait at the living room and I obeyed it. When he finished with the dishes, he brought me a cup of warm tea and sat beside me on the couch.

“Hey, Taeyang-ssi. How about we introduce ourselves? I know nothing about you except your name.”

“Why should we know each other? I don’t want to get involved in something bad.” I laughed.

“After all the things I did to you and you act like you didn’t believe that I am a good person?”

“You might be an underground doctor, working for mafias or yakuza.”

“Really? And you might be a boss of mafia yourself. You went here just to escape from the dark life of yours  or some people may be chasing you. With those tattoos, my theory could be proven right.”

I laughed. “Nice theory, Daniel-ssi. Well, you first. Please.” I smiled to him.

“Me? How should I start, hmmm? I was born in Itaewon, thirty three years ago. Had taken my master in John-Hopkins and been here and there since I finished my master. I have one older sister. I love kids, most of the time, because they sometimes scare me. But then my love is bigger that I became a pediatrician. Been working at Seoul University Hospital, but eventually enjoy voluntary works more than to work in a hospital. Hate spider, cockroach and snake.  _Don’t look at me with that judging stare, Youngbae-ssi._  Especially like seafood and vegetable. I think that’s a brief introduction from me.”

“Quite an adventure, huh, Daniel-ssi?” He was quite for a moment.

“Was it?”

“Of course. Then why are you in here? I could see that you’ve been here for times. Am I right?”

“Actually I couldn’t count how many times I’ve been in Indonesia. It’s like my third home after Japan.”

“Really? How come?”

“I joined a non-profit organization to help the victim of tsunami in Aceh in 2004 and after the voluntary works ended, one of my friends asked me to join him to go to Bali. I was in love with the beach and promised myself to come back, but I couldn’t make time since I was busy with work. When I was taking my master, I joined Doctor without Borders and helped the earthquake victim in Yogyakarta on 2006. Again, when I finished with the voluntary works, I took my time to explore the beaches in Indonesia. I’ve been to some places that are definitely better than here in Bali. But it is easier to stay in Bali when I have short holiday like this since there’s a flight straight to South Korea from here. This time, I came after finishing my works in Papua.” He smiled at me. “I think it’s time for you to tell me who Taeyang is.”

“Born thirty four years ago –that makes me Hyung for you. An ordinary salary-man in South Korea who is still struggling to pay the loans. Has one older brother, like healthy foods and hate spicy foods. Hobby? Singing, I think? Been in dancing team when I was in university but then because my parents objected me to be a dancer, here I am, living an ordinary life. Any question?”

He laughed at my last sentence. “You’re a funny man, Taeyang-ssi.” He looked at the ceiling, maybe thinking of some questions. “May I ask private question?”

“Sure. I may ask you the same question, so don’t be so brave when asking a question, Daniel-ssi.”

“Have you ever fallen in love at the first sight?”

I rolled my eyes. “I thought this is an introductory session for us?”

“Well, I don’t have any other question.” He shrugged. “So?”

Suddenly, I remembered how Seungri and I met. It was on the dance club at the university and he was a junior who wanted to join. I clearly fell in love with him since the first time I saw him. Those blonde locks and cheery personality –I loved those things. I drank a water from the glass in front of me before answering the question. He was waiting for my answer with an eager look. I smiled. “I think I have. Fallen in love at the first sight.”

“Really? How did it work?”

“You asked that as if you’ve never been in love before, Daniel-ssi. I believe you’re not that innocent, are you?”

“I am not that innocent, yes. I believe that love grows because we’re used to  _that someone’s_ presence, so I don’t believe in love at the first sight. But then…”

“But then what?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head and hung it low.

“Eii…” I laughed. “Why does suddenly the atmosphere turn sad in here?”

He smiled at me. “Sorry, I didn’t meant to…”

I patted his thigh, looked at him and smiled back. “It’s okay.”

“Are you in a relationship, Taeyang-ssi?” He suddenly asked me.

“How about you?”

“I’m not in a relationship. I’ve never been in a serious one, actually.” He sighed. “And I’ve been in a one-sided love for too long. So long that I didn’t realize that I’ve become an old person. How about you?”

“I’m… Single?”  _terrible liar, huh, Youngbae?_

“Why are you giving me that unsure tone?” he chuckled.

“I mean, I’m in a relationship but I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him because he cheated on me.” 

‘ _Did you mean a divorce, Youngbae?_ ’ the little voice in my head mock my choice of words and I bit my lower lips at the thought.

“It’s a he, huh?” one of the corner of his lips tugged up and I didn’t know what that meant.

“Yeah. You surprised?”

“No. My _gay-dar_ or gay radar has been active and telling me you’re a gay when you didn’t punch me when I kissed your hand.”

“Gay-dar. Silly you.” I chuckled after repeating the made up words. “Are you also…”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I think being in here it’s like an escapade for us, huh?”

“I guess so.”

We both stayed in silence for a moment. Until he said something.

“Hey, when will you go back to Korea?”

“I don’t have any exact plan. Maybe next Sunday?”

“My flight is on Sunday too. That gives us three days to have fun.”

“Us?”

“Oh, do you have another plan? I think I could show you what we could do while in here.”

“I don’t have another plan, though. Maybe I could follow you since you’re more familiar in here.”

“Do you want to go with me to the market? If you don’t mind, though.”

“When?”

“Maybe at three?”

“Make it at four. So we could eat dinner somewhere. How does it sound?”

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at four.”

I looked at the clock on the wall. It’s nearing 10 a.m and I wanted to take a rest. “Daniel-ssi, I think I have to go back. Thank you for the breakfast.” I stood up from the sofa and so did he. He opened his arms. I came near him and gave him a friendly hug. “Thank you once again.”

“No problem. See you later!”


	4. Chapter 4

Daniel-ssi indeed was a great companion to shop. With his ability to bargain with the sellers and his fluency in Bahasa Indonesia and English, we went home with a lot of bags of souvenirs (which I didn’t know whom to give). We chatted and laughed as we walked and I could say that I kind of forgetting Seungri. It’s been a long time since I laughed my ass off, almost crying because of Daniel’s jokes. In front of Seungri’s colleagues, I had to restrain myself –he had images to keep. Savage and sassy were two words that described Daniel perfectly. It felt like I had known him for ages.

I found myself wondering, what if I met him before I met Seungri?

We decided to have an early dinner so we had time to prepare ourselves for clubbing. Later, I found out that Daniel asked me to go to the bar that Seungri recommended. What a coincidence. But it might be because the club was famous. The dinner was great and while waiting for the order to come, we had a more decent conversation to get to know more of each other. We talked about current events, world peace and so many more that I could conclude that Daniel was a complete package: good-looking, smart and  _rich._  I got to know that his forte was fluent in languages -something that I had to spend my life to get into his level- and his eyes was getting bigger upon hearing that I thought the reason I couldn’t getting taller was because I didn’t like milk.

It was a really wonderful time for me.

After eating dinner, we went back to our bungalow and he promised me to pick me up again at 9 o’clock, which meant that I only have two hours to prepare myself. Actually I was very confused because I didn’t bring my clubbing outfits. I took out all of my belongings from the suitcase and found that I brought a ripped jeans. I hoped that it would become a decent outfit for clubbing when I mixed and matched it with my black shirt and jacket.  _Ah, who the hell cared about my appearance anyway._

‘ _Daniel-ssi cares, you_  babo.’ Said the voice in my head.

_Oh, shit. He might be._

But what could I do? I didn’t have any choices.

I sighed and crossed my finger. Hope that Daniel didn’t care about my appearance.

 

***

 

Daniel showed up at my bungalow exactly at nine and I nearly dropped my jaw. He styled his slightly hair with a wet-look one. He wore a tight black leather pants and a shiny skeleton belt. Not to forget he wore eyeliner, making him having a pair of eyes that could stare to my soul. His shirt perfectly hugged his body. My head ached and my body was in fire upon seeing a gorgeous statuesque in front of me.

I felt like a beggar when I saw his outfits.

But then I saw his white bag again –his medical kit.

“Before we’re going to the club, let me take care of your hand first, change the winding bandage to a more comfortable one.”

I was surprised that he still remembered to take care of my hand. As usual, I let him doing anything with my hand and I just watched him. How many times he could surprise me with his appearance? With my free hand, I touched my burning cheeks. I raised my hand and put it above Daniel’s head, ready to touch the copper locks below. It was just a mere centimeters, but—

“Your heart is beating really fast, Taeyang-ssi.” Daniel said.

“Hmmm?” in confusion, I saw his two fingers in my wrist, as if he was checking my pulse.  _Damn._  I pulled my hand from his hand.

“I was holding your wrist, so yeah, I know your heart is beating fast.” He smirked. “Is that because of me, Taeyang-ssi?”

“You wish!” I gave my smug face to him. He laughed.

“Okay,” it was like he dismissed anything he wanted to say before he was saying okay, but I was really thankful of that. I couldn’t bear to be more embarrassed.

“Let’s go to the club then,” I finally said.

***

 

 

The music was already blasting on the speaker, even without a DJ. Daniel went to the counter and gesturing that he’s ready to place an order. I followed him from behind while looking around the club. It’s full of foreign people like us and I could hear some languages other than English.

 _‘Let yourself be free, Youngbae. No one knows you in here except that Daniel. Be naughty. If Seungri could do that to you, why couldn’t you? I bet he did go to club, got drunk and laid his ass for that Choi Seunghyun.’_ Said the voice in my head. I was busy with my thoughts when Daniel touched my shoulder.

“Taeyang-ssi, what do you want to order? Just pick what you want. It’s on me tonight.”

“Really? Thank you then.” I laid my eyes on the bottles on display. “I don’t know yet, Daniel-ssi. Maybe you can surprise me?”

He stared at me and then the corners of his lips arched up. “Are you ready to dance? Something sweet or bitter? Do you want to get drunk or not?”

“I am ready to dance and I am ready to be wasted tonight. Sweet or bitter isn’t that important to me.” I replied him.

“Okay, then.” He faced the bartender who was waiting for the order. “Lemon drop and Pimm’s cup, please.” He turned to stare at me.

“Pimm’s cup? Why?”

“I don’t want to get wasted since you’re the one who want to be wasted tonight. Who will take care of you if both of us are drunk?” He flashed his canine teeth.

I gulped. How could a human being so damn beautiful? Did God pour more attractiveness when He made Daniel? “Daniel-ssi, you’re so gorgeous tonight,” I beamed at him and he smiled back at me.

“Thank you.” He laid his hand on the counter, acted as if he always heard that compliment. “When I go clubbing, I always come all-out and put my other personality at home.”

I swore that he gave a subtle wink to me. Was he flirting with me?I didn’t drink any alcohol yet, but my head was spinning already and I thought I became braver.  _The hell with Seungri. Now I’m Taeyang._ I came closer to him and touched his chest with the tips of my fingers, trailing his shoulder. “What kind of personality that you left at home and what personality do you bring with you at this moment?” I said with a breathy voice.

He caught my hand and pulled me towards him. He leaned to me and whispered. “This is Dangerous Daniel speaking to you, Taeyang-ssi. The one who will bring you to seventh heaven, the one who will make you forget all the pain in your heart.” I felt he slightly nimble my earlobe after he said his sentences, leaving a wet trace, and then he blew a cold air to my ear.

His action made me unconsciously closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation and craned my head, showing him my neck. Then I felt he cupped my cheek.

“Taeyang-ssi. The night just started and you’re already drunk of me without drinking anything.” He gave me a smug face.

I chuckled, put my face on his chest and grabbed his shirt. “You’re indeed dangerous, Daniel-ssi.”

He laughed and put his hands on my hips. “You’re cute, you know.”

 

 

Not long after, our orders came. We’re busy flirting to each other and our hands were busy too. I would grab his shoulder or the side of his shirt meanwhile his hands would caress my cheeks and gave me a lovely smile. A lovely smile instead a lustful one, even after what he did to me earlier.  _Is he a human or angel or satan?_  After a few drinks, I felt tipsy and hot. My head was following the beats the DJ was dropping and Daniel reeled me to the dance floor. As a former dancer, I put my best to impress Daniel, even I didn’t know why I should impress him. I even grinded him and I could see he’s growing a lust.

The club’s getting hotter when the DJ blasting a remix of “Honey I’m Good”.  _Damn you DJ for playing a right song for me._  I let out a smirk and even shaking my head harder.

****

**_You look good. I will not lie_ **

_You look good Daniel. I’m not lying._

****

**_I got somebody at home_ **

_You know, I left someone at home but he betrayed me. What should I do? Get a revenge?_

****

**_And if I stay, I might not leave alone._ **

_Why are you here, Daniel? Are you here to fix me? Please, please kiss the wound in my heart away. Maybe it’ll be healed sooner, like the wound in my hand. You’re a doctor, aren’t you?_

_Please Daniel._

_Help me._

_I trust you._


	5. Chapter 5

The sunlight touched my face and I could hear bird’s chirps. Feeling a sudden headache in my head, I pulled the blanket to cover my face.  _Shit, just how much did I drink last night?_ After a few blinks, I stretched my body just to find—

Someone else’s in my bed.

Panicked, I opened the blanket and found out there was not a single thread on my body.

I wanted to make a sudden jump, but the headache was more awful than I thought; and the pain in my back.  _Shit!_  I took a look at the person beside me.

_Shit! Fuck! It’s Daniel!_

 

He was still sleeping and the blanket was just covering his bottom part. I could see his chest moving steadily and the sunlight enhanced his caramel skin. What the hell happened last night? I ruffled my own hair and closed my eyes, trying to remember some things, but I couldn’t. The last memory I had was that I was grinding my ass like a slut on dance floor and… He kissed me.

Yeah. I remembered that one.

 _‘Now you’re officially in an affair, too,’_ the voice in my back said to me.

I took a deep breath and turned my body to face him. I should feel guilty to Seungri, but I didn’t at all. Why? I observed the body that laid beside me. His neck and shoulder were full of love bites. I betted mine’s also the same. I chuckled. ‘ _Quite a wild night, Youngbae?’_ the little voice mocked me. I saw him moving and I immediately closed my eyes, pretending that I was still sleeping.

“Morning, Sunshine. I heard you chuckling, so don’t act like you’re still sleeping, Taeyang-ssi.” His hoarse morning voice greeted me and then he huffed a laugh.

“Caught me.” I smiled to him. Then I found that he was looking at me. I covered my face with the blanket.

“Are you shy? You weren’t last night, though.” He tried to pull the blanket from my face. I peeked from it and he was smiling to me, a really soft smile that melted all the problems in your head.

Then he pulled me into his embrace and kissed my head. When he did that, I felt sudden mixed feeling in my chest: happiness, sadness, confusion… I didn’t know. My first reaction was to shed tears in his chest.

“Hey, hey. Why are you crying? Are you in pain, Taeyang-ssi?”

I shook my head against his chest. “No. I mean, yes I’m in pain but I’m crying because of something else. Sorry.”

“Just cry your heart out. I’m here.” He made circles in my back and hugged me even tighter. That was a warm hug and I felt like someone had lifted the burden in my heart. After a few minutes, I pushed him slightly and leveled my head so I could meet his gaze.

“Thank you.” I cupped his cheek. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

“For what?”

“Everything.”

He put his hands around my neck and gently pulled me towards him. He tilted his head and then his lips met mine. I put my hand on his hip. Gently, he nibbled my lower lips and then I did the same. It was a different pair of lips than the one I was familiar with. His chapped plump lips intoxicated me. I was about to deepen the kiss, but he was the one who pulled back first. There was a slight confusion.

I suddenly remember a name.

“Seungri…” I mumbled.

I could feel Daniel stiffened. “Yeah… Seungri. You called his name in your sleep.” He let out a weak smile.

“Did I?”

“Yep. But it was more like a plea, like you’re hoping that  _that Seungri_  will stay with you. There’s a pain in your voice, Taeyang-ssi.”

I sighed.

“If you don’t mind me prying, who is he anyway?”

“Daniel-ssi… I don’t know if I could share this with you.”

“Yes you can, Teayang-ssi. For you to know, this,” he pointed his chest and my chest, “just happens in here. What we do in Bali, stays in Bali. I hope you’re well aware of that. As we had talked before, it’s an escapade. So Taeyang-ssi, think of me as a trash bin for your problem. I would be glad to hear you because I can’t take you pleading over him like you’re a helpless soul.”

I was surprised upon hearing Daniel talking like that. “Was I that pathetic?”

“You didn’t want to hear. Alcohol indeed is a truth serum.” He grinned. “So?”

“So…” I gulped. “I’m married. Surprise!” I let out a weak laugh.

“Okay. Well… I’m surprised.” He chuckled.

“Daniel-ssi…”

“Just go on with your story.” He smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

“So… apparently I’m a married man. I think I fell in love with him at the first sight. He was my junior at the dance club and long story short, two years after graduation, I married him. We had a really good, happy life. He’s working at an art gallery, and I’m working at a trading company. It’s not we’re always on a good term; of course there’s high and low tide, but we’re willing to discuss our problems.

“One day, I just felt that he began drifting away from me. At first I thought that was because I used to him and he used to me. A kiss felt like an obligation and there’s no feel when we’re together, you know, but he’s still nice to me. I began to suspect him when he always went home late and making excuses to not having a lunch with me –which was weird. He never skipped lunch every Tuesday and Thursday with me and he never went home late. When I asked him why he did that, he said that he’s really busy with his works and I just took it as it was. I believed his words.

“I remember, it was one day in the beginning of winter. I was making the bed when he had shower. His phone rang, but I just ignored it until it stopped. I usually didn’t pick up his phone because I respected his privacy even though we’re married, but this time I was so curious that I took his phone from the nightstand. Then it rang again. It was from unknown number. I answered the phone just to hear a sultry deep voice from the other line. He said, ‘Ri Honey, could we meet up at lunch? You know, I’m hungry and I want to eat… You!’ Then I heard a chuckle.

“My hands were trembling and I just put back the phone on the nightstand. I sat by the side of the bed and grasped the bed sheet. Then I realized that’s why he always came home late. He’s cheating. I tried to act casual, like nothing’s wrong. The next thing I did was tailing him and… I found that he’s having a lunch with this… Man. A very handsome man. I thought he’s one of Seungri’s client, until I saw he hugged Seungri and kissed him. That man took Seungri with his car and I followed them from behind. They’re heading to a hotel. After that, I just went back home and cried.

“It’s obvious that he cheated on me and I was so mad on him. He tried to make things right after he knew that I knew that he cheated, but my heart’s already broken and there’s no way to make it right as before. We’re married for God’s sake, but why did he cheat on me? I was thinking about what my faults were, or what that manhad that I didn’t… I just couldn’t find the answer. I found out that he cheated in winter; that means it has been five or six months since our relationship became cold. He’s really trying hard to show me his love and that he has changed, but still I felt betrayed. I’m afraid that this will lead to a divorce, but I love him so much it hurts. I… am confused. I don’t know what to do.” I grabbed the blanket and bit my lower lip because I couldn’t stand the squeeze in my heart.

Daniel gave me an indescribable look –a pity look, maybe? He looked at the ceiling for a while, then stared at me once again. “Do you still love him?”

 _‘Do I still love him after he broke my heart?’_ I asked myself. But then I shook my head. “I was not sure myself if I still love him or not.”

“Alright. Then do you know why he cheated on you? Did you do something wrong?”

Yeah, why? Why did you cheat on me, Seungri?Did I—

**_“You’re a health freak! I sometimes wondering why I could keep up with you pushing your opinion to me.”_ **

 

Seungri’s voice was ringing on my head.  _Was I too pushy?_

“Maybe… I did something wrong.”

Daniel just smiled to me. “It’s hard to admit that you did wrong, Taeyang-ssi, and you did a good job. Then… Have you ever imagined life without him?”

 _Life without Seungri._  

I took time to think about this question. If it was not because Daniel, maybe I would spend my holiday nights crying over him. What would my life be without Seungri?

I didn’t know.

Even during the affair, he still gave me his beautiful smile, still was there for me when I was sick, still hugged me to sleep and still picked me up at work when he had time. After I knew the affair, he pampered me even more, as if he wanted to redeem himself to me. Even this holiday, he let me be by myself, a thing that even I’ve never done to myself before. I was always be with him.

Did I punish him too much?

He lied to me and lie, in my dictionary, it is a sin. But I didn’t know, I have never imagined my life without Seungri. It has always been us, together. Having a cozy apartment together, going everywhere together, doing whatever together, adopting a child…

Why suddenly I feel like I don’t belong in this bed?

 

“Did you realize something, Taeyang-ssi?” His voice broke the silence between us. I couldn’t face Daniel, I just wanted to disappear. Then he drew me into a tight hug.

“I think so.” I answered.

“Is it alright, now?”

I nodded against his chest. “You’re like an angel Daniel-ssi. I believe God sent you to me to fix my heart.”

“You’re the one who saved me, Taeyang-ssi. Like your name, you light up my world like it’s never been before.” He kissed my head.

“Me?” I pushed him slightly to look at his face. “How come?”

“In some ways, yeah.”

I shifted my position, so now he’s the one who was lying between my arm and my chest. “Care to share your story?”

“I guess so. I’ve never shared my story to anyone, so you’re the very first person to hear this.” He said while touching my abs with his fingertips.

“My honor, then.” I huffed a laugh.

“Yep. It seems that I trust you enough.” He laughed too. “So, there’s this one person that I grew up with. He was weak as a child that he was the reason that I studied hard to be a doctor, a pediatrician to be exact. We were inseparable. If there was him somewhere, I would be there too. Even though that I’m younger than him, I would be his guardian –his mom appointed me as his guardian, actually. I was sooo happy and I would tailed him everywhere. I even skipped one year of school, with all my efforts, so I could be with him. It was a good childhood time for me. Then it changed when the fire nation attacked…” He giggled.

“What the hell, Daniel-ssi?” I pinched his cheek. “I was too immersed at your story until that joke!”

“Because I could feel you’re stiffening!” He tightened his hug for a while. “Okay I will continue this. It changed when we were in the last year of junior high. I didn’t know since when I felt something different for him. I used to have sleepover at his house and so did he. We would talk about school, his classmates, my classmates and everything else. But then one day he said that he was interested in someone and that someone was a boy. At first, I just ignored the pain in my chest upon hearing that confession, I didn’t know what that feeling was. He was giggling like crazy and I could see the sparkle in his eyes when he’s talking about that boy.

“We entered different high school simply because I got better grades than him. It was not because he was bad at studying, but it was because he always skipped some days for his hemodialysis. He simply couldn’t catch some lesson. He even succeeded entering Seoul Art High School, to reach his dream to be an artist, by simply showing his portfolio to the school. We drifted apart since that, but I still insisted to spend weekend with him. It was okay for a while, then we became busy with our own activities…”

Daniel didn’t talked for a while, he just put his palm on my stomach and made circles with his hand. I held Daniel’s hand, hoping that I gave him some strength to continue the story.

“One day, after a tiring Friday, I woke up with this excitement because I had planned to spend weekend with him. I had already saved my pocket money to bring him to amusement park. I even ran to his house. I knocked the door of his house and his mom greeted me, telling me that he had another guest too. She let me in and I went to his room. His door was slightly opened. I thought I would never knew what a broken-heart was, until I saw him with another boy, kissing like crazy. I ran back home.”

I could hear a subtle tremble in his voice. It had to be hard to have one sided-love for such a long time. I caressed his hair and kissed his temple gently. He’s nuzzling into my side before he continued.

“But my love for him was too big to be thrown and ignored just like that. Without him knowing that I had a feeling for him, he told me his stories. It hurt but I could cope with that, even until now. I tried to forget him, by spending a lot of time outside Korea; but in Korea, my heart is left. I think I couldn’t fall in love with another person. Maybe he’s the reason that I’m still single and never been in a relationship.” He let out a weak smile against my side.

“Have you ever told him that you love him?”

“I have.” He paused for a while. “Speaking of that, I want to take back what I said before. I think you’re the second person who knows about my story.”

“Second?”

“Yes, but the first one who knows in details.”

“I guess I’m still honored?” I chuckled.

“Anyway, it’s not just another day for me. I went back and forth between to confess to him or not to. I didn’t prepare anything, in case he rejected me. I was about to go to his gallery, but unfortunately, I had to transfer to another bus because the usual bus needed to be repaired. I got off at a bus stop that felt foreign to me. Upon nearing my destination, I hesitated whether to confess through the text or met him in person. Then this man suddenly popped beside me. Gosh! He was so gorgeous with his black suit! I told my problem, in summary, and talked to him and he told me that I should follow my heart. I was so thankful to him, because he gave me a courage to confess, even though in the end I was rejected. But believe it or not, I’m happy. The burden was lifted, although the scar is still here in my heart.”

“Hope it will heal as the time passes.” I patted his back. “But Daniel-ssi?”

“Yes?”

“Sorry, but I don’t get why you said that I helped you?”

“I was sitting behind you at the time when the crabs attacked you. Your back seemed so lonely. I was about to greet you and I thought maybe two lonely men could make each other companion. Aaaanddd the crabs came.” He took my wounded hand and kissed it. “I must say that I was trying so hard not to laugh at the sight. Then, I had a chance to spend my time with you, getting to know your funny side. Your presence helped me to get through my lonely holiday, Taeyang-ssi. I’ve never thought that I will get to know someone in a short period of time like this. I felt like I was trusted and I could trust you. Trust is a thing that I couldn’t get in my love life. I guess that’s the end of my story.”

I shifted my position so I could face him. A sudden question was popped in my head. “Daniel-ssi, you said that you couldn’t fall in love with another person. Don’t you have any slight curiosity to get information about that man in the bus stop?”

“I don’t know his surname and I never stopped at that bus stop anymore.”

Again, we’re surrounded by silence until my stomach grumbled. Daniel huffed a laugh.

“I guess we have to get our lazy ass off of this bed and eat something.”

I nodded. “Summer love…” I suddenly mumbled.

“You’re my summer love indeed, Taeyang-ssi.”


	6. Chapter 6

Yesterday, after the long conversation, he gave me an idea of us being a couple for a day. I was hesitated for a while, but then I wanted to give it a shot. I agreed with him and for the rest of the day, he pampered me. He awakened the childish side of me that I have never thought I would show that side to Daniel. Before sunset, we walked together on the sea shore, dipping our foot to the water. When the sunset came, we decided to enjoy it in front of his bungalow. We kissed until the sun disappeared on the horizon.

I felt like I was having a Déjà vu, that I’d belonged to his embrace since forever. He took me to the restaurant for dinner and still flirting with me.

“You’ll be a good lover, Daniel-ssi.”

“I’ve learned enough and thanks to you, I could try how to be a good lover.” He winked at me.

I knew that’s only an act, but I couldn’t help but feeling the hotness in my cheeks. “Damn you, Daniel-ssi.”

He let out a crisp laugh. “You can’t curse to your boyfriend, even it’s only one-day boyfriend, you know.”

“Correction. We still have tomorrow, so you’re my two-day boyfriend.”

“Whatever you call it, Cutie.” Then he blew a kiss to me.

***

 

It was a sunny day as usual and was the last day of my holiday, me and Daniel’s holiday to be exact. We planned to do parasailing and snorkeling in the morning, spending entire evening to do sight-seeing, and I would pack my belongings and moved to his bungalow to spend our last night together. I found out that we had booked the same flight back to Korea and we promised to go to airport together. Like the day before, he made me like I was the most precious thing in the world. He would feed me, opened the car door for me and the other small things he did.

Seungri also did the same thing for me, actually, but then maybe I was used to be treated well by him that I forgot to appreciate the little things he did to me. When we’re eating lunch, I took out my phone and started to write a text for Seungri.

 

**_Hi sweetheart, what are you doing?_ **

**_I miss you_ **

 

Then I smiled. Maybe I really needed Daniel to remind me how precious Seungri was to me. Daniel caught me smiling into my phone.

“Miss him already?”

“Of course. It’s me who is having an affair with you, but why texting him feels like that I’m cheating on you?”

“It’s because you’re my lover now,  _Jagiya._ ”

“Stop with the ‘jagiya’ things, Daniel-ssi. I don’t like ‘jagiya’.”

“So, what do you want me to call you?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “But for you maybe it’s ‘cutie’?”

“Then I will call you ‘kitty’? Rhymes with ‘cutie’, though.” He giggled.

I cringed so hard upon hearing ‘kitty’. “Sappy cutie.”

 

Then I felt a vibration on my pocket. It must be Seungri’s reply, but I decided to ignore it for a while. I wanted to make my affair to the fullest. Silly thought, but maybe I would never have the same chance again in my life. Being with Daniel made me realize my wrongdoings and I really had to talk with Seungri. Nevertheless, he's the one I chose to be with for the rest of my life.

I actually grew fond for Daniel, but it’s not the same feeling when I was with Seungri. Indeed Daniel was a good man, but he’s not Seungri.

Why it took me almost half a year to pull myself together?

 

“By the way, Taeyang-ssi.” He put the fork and knife beside his plate and stared at me. “I don’t intend to ruin the fun but… You know, there will be an end to this relationship, don’t you?”

“Of course I know that. Why?”

“I realize that there’s a slight curiosity in my head—I want to know more about you. Heck, I like you, Kitty.” He looked at me with this longing eyes. “But I can’t continue this feeling. Not when I know you’re married.”

I became quiet. I didn’t know what to say to him.

“Let’s promise each other, that after we’re back to Korea, we won’t search for each other. It’s for our own sake. Let’s not asking for contact, let’s forget each other, and let’s not fall in love.”

I felt like there’s a big hammer hit my chest. I did know that these were for our sake, but still… “Can’t we be friend?”

“I don’t think so. Not after what we did in here. Whatever happen in Bali, stays in Bali. Okay?”

After a long pause, I nodded weakly. “Okay.”

“Let’s pray that we will not bump into each other.”

***

 

 

We spent the night by having a BBQ in front of his bungalow. I moved my belongings to Daniel’s bungalow and checked out from mine. While eating the meat, he was talking about his college life and how he survived at the Unites States alone. He also talked about his voluntary works and told me some jokes. I was amazed by his talking skill and I thought he could do his own talk show in Korea. He also asked me about my college life and asked me to teach him some dance which he could use at the club.

“You’re amazing at the dance floor, Kitty.” Daniel said.

I laughed away the embarrassment. “I must be out of my mind.”

“Yes you are. I’ve never be so turned on when I saw someone’s dancing, but you, Kitty, you made me wanted to fuck your life out that night.”

“You clearly fucked me so hard that you have to carry me like a princess to the bathroom.”

“I’m not sorry about that.” He stuck out his tongue.

“But I don’t remember how crazy you were, Cutie.” I laughed.

But Daniel only stayed quiet in his place.

Suddenly, I had this crazy idea in my mind. I approached him, sat on his lap and then put around my hand into his neck. With a deep and soft voice I whispered, “So Cutie, how about we spend our last night together? Show me how good you are in bed. Fuck me like crazy that I have to hold your built arm for life.” I mentally shaking my head upon hearing my own words. I even wasn’t that brave when I was with Seungri. Daniel looked me deep in my eyes, maybe searching for any hesitation or lie in it. I stared him back, giving my best pleading-eyes to him.

“Are you sure, Taeyang-ssi?”

“Call me Kitty. I’m your kitty tonight, Cutie.” I closed the gap between his face and mine. Slightly tilting my head, I gently sucked his lower lips and also moved my hips to grind him. I hold the back of his head and kissing him deeper, this time I also used my tongue.

Then my tongue met his mate and they’re dancing together. Wet, hot, slimy –that was the kiss was. Suddenly, he pushed me back.

“Kitty, we should clean up these things first so we could continue what we’re doing.”

Smiling to each other, we paused the making out session and then started to clean the things. I washed the dishes and Daniel put the grill back into its place. Whenever we bumped to each other, we would steal a kiss from each other, then giggled.

After done with the cleaning, he stripped himself then slowly pushed me to the bed.

“Let me make love to you, Kitty.” That’s the longest sentence he said before kissing me softly, because after that, I couldn’t do anything but moaning upon his ministrations.

That night, I was sent to the seventh heaven by Daniel.

***

 

It was early morning and we had to prepare for the flight. We’re forced to wake up early even after the exhausting love making session the night before. My heart got bigger when I remembered that Daniel was so gentle and loving.

We’re seated next to each other at the plane. While sitting, I thought about our relationship. We promised to each other, the time when we arrived at Korea, we’d be stranger to each other. It’s a sure thing that I couldn’t forget him, not after all we did in Bali. Bali would forever remind me of Daniel. I stared at the man beside me. Daniel didn’t talk much during the flight, but he still provided his shoulder for me to lean on during the long flight and held my hand. He’s filling the space between my fingers and I was glad about that.

 

The rest of the flight was peaceful until the stewardess announced that we’d be landing at Incheon International Airport shortly. My heart was beating fast. I didn’t want my relationship with Daniel to an end, but I didn’t know how to convince him.  _Why couldn’t we be friend?_ I tightened the hold on his hand. My eyes were sending him signal, hoping that he would change his mind about us, our relationship. I hadn’t thanked him enough for whatever he did to me.

When we’re landed, he immediately become a person I didn’t know. He put his shade and hat and didn’t talk to me at all. I thought that we would go to the baggage claim area together, instead he walked in front of me and stay away from me.

Did he intend to leave me without saying goodbye?

I got my belongings and then I walked towards Daniel. Before I went out from the baggage claim, I hold Daniel’s hand. I mustered up my courage and said. “Hey, I know we promised to end anything between us as we’re back to Korea, but Daniel-ssi, I have one last wish…”

“What is that?” he asked with a stern voice. Gone the gentle Daniel I knew.

“Maybe we could eat our early dinner together? I promise I will not ask more than that.”

“I guess no, Taeyang-ssi.”

“But…”

He fixed his shade and his cap before walking away from me.

I felt a pang in my heart. I ran after him.

Not far from the exit door, I saw someone familiar waving his hand to me. He brought red roses with him and then he ran to hug me.

“Seungri?”

“My love. I missed you so much.” Seungri hugged me even tighter. My eyes were looking for Daniel. Still walked away without looking back at me.

“Hey Baby-Bae, don’t you miss me too?” Seungri’s voice snapped me.

“I—I miss you too.” I stuttered. That’s what I said, but my eyes were tailing Daniel’s back until he disappeared.

“Let’s go home, Baby-Bae. I have a surprise for you.” He put his arm around my hip and led me to car park.

I turned my head back to the direction where I saw Daniel’s back for the last time.

 

_You’re my favorite hello, Daniel Kang._

_But you’re also my hardest goodbye._

 

_Goodbye my summer love._


End file.
